Satisfied
by SapphireGauntlet
Summary: Set in "Where the blood runs" universe in the events of Book 2. The hidden pain in her smile that she hides so well. This is a one-shot Britney story. Based on the song "Satisfied" from Hamilton by Lin Manuel Miranda. Slight BritneyxDean.


**Author's note: In celebration for the end of my finals (and the scary wait of hoping I passed all of my subjects this semester) I present to you this one shot. This takes place in the "Where the blood runs" universe. I was actually contemplating whether or not to include this in Book 2. But after some thought, I believe it would be better if it was a companion piece to the Book 2 story since I don't think this story contributes much to the main plot anyway. Don't worry: there won't be any major spoilers here. I made spoiler potential details very vague.**

 **This is a songfic and was inspired to humanize Britney. While I do like her I understand how she can come across as annoying and seemingly perfect with no flaws. And just like my main story, I do my best to put characters into situations that no one has really placed them in yet. Or in situations that is not common to write them into.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own totally spies, the hellfire club or the song "Satisfied". They belong respectively to Marathon, Marvel and the song belongs to musical genius Lin Manuel Miranda.**

" _ **May you always be satisfied."**_

Because she's not sure if she ever will be. Or maybe being satisfied has now become an ideal that she has always strived to be. After all, her family ran on being progressive and productive. Her father rebelled against his conservative Japanese family and married a Chinese-American woman. Together they limited their family to two children regardless of their sex. For it can be difficult to keep a big family, too much resources being used. Most conservative families would be disappointed that they didn't have any sons to carry on the family name. With her parents, all they saw was two beautiful daughters who has the potential to change the world and destroy conservative prejudice. Growing up she and her younger sister were close although they ticked very differently. Britney was easily bored. It was why she also excelled in many extra-curricular activities aside from excelling academically. For awhile the buzz of her achievement would give her a high. Then she would be bored again. It was probably why she didn't need to be scared into being a WOOHP agent. Her normal activities no longer satisfied her.

But right now, she wonders if she had ever been truly satisfied. Or maybe she simply never will be.

Her sister on the other hand, was easily entertained. Ever since she was a baby, all you had to do to make Eliza smile was to either tickle her or to make funny faces with a funny voice. Meanwhile when she was a baby, you needed to bring her a colorful toy or her favorite bottle. She would cry otherwise.

It wasn't that Eliza was dumb. She just approached her achievements differently from her. If Britney saw achieving as a means of entertainment and for the high of being recognized, Eliza had a purpose in her mind whenever she achieved something. She was an excellent story teller, because she knew that an easy way to teach lessons were through stories. Eliza excelled in the piano and the violin, because to her a house is not a home without music. And music was one of the easiest ways for people to thrive.

She on the other hand was on the cheerleading squad and the chess team because it involved a healthy amount of adrenaline, of competition, of taming an unknown outcome. And when it came to her WOOHP activities, her high came from accomplishing a mission with her teammates, Dimitri and Javier. The high of finishing the job even though she will get no recognition for it.

"You're up already?" she hears Dean ask from behind her as she makes herself a cup of green tea.

"Yes, I got a message from Jerry. Its files on my current mission." She wasn't lying, but it wasn't the main reason for her being awake earlier than her normal time.

It had something to do with a certain wedding invitation.

It was probably also why she asked Dean to resume their relationship. Sexually active co-workers. Currently exclusive, they need to be. Its what she needs to recover.

" _ **I remember that night, I just might regret that night for the rest of my days."**_

Three years ago, the Hellfire club held an open event. From what Sam told her, the club considers it an open event since it wasn't a members exclusive gathering. From what she could remember now, it was a multinational upper class Charity ball. Or at least that's what it masqueraded around as. She recalls vaguely Tim Scam's comments that it was just another fancy party for the rich to move their money around. It was still strange seeing him work closely with Sam. Even if he was a Hellfire member. The event was divided into three main activities to allegedly contribute to charity. The ball, the auction and the poker tournament. She mainly stayed in the ball area with Sam and Scam. The reason, she had now forgotten. All she remembers now is that she was in the dessert table when two men approached her. One of them, the one who was tall and blonde was looking for Sam.

And the other was him. Alexander Dalton.

" _ **But Alexander, I'll never forget the first time I saw your face. I have never been the same, intelligent eyes and a hunger pang fame. And when you said 'Hi' I forgot my dang name. Set my heart a flame, every part aflame. This is not a game."**_

He immediately started chatting with her and before she knew it, they had spent the entire event chatting away. Or rather, the entire event before she had to go back to her role as a spy. Long enough for them to exchange numbers.

He was taller than her, but shorter than the man who was looking for Sam.

For the next three months she found out his story. Or as much of it without completely committing. He was a displaced person. A victim of a violent neighborhood. Till now he isn't completely sure what the difference between a mafia or a gang. To Alexander, they were all the same. His father died for simply being caught in a crossfire. Alexander was 10 when that happened. His mother died giving birth to his half-brother. Neither of them survived. He became a ward of a Hellfire member. But he was only able to become a ward because he was able to skip several grade levels. Middle school was the start of his education through Hellfire scholarship. He never said it out loud, but he feels guilty relying on someone else. He works hard to not only be successful, but to also not be a burden to someone else.

" ' _ **You strike me, as a woman who has never been satisfied.'**_

' _ **I'm sure I don't know what you mean, you forget yourself.'**_

' _ **You're like me, I'm never satisfied.'**_

' _ **Is that right?'**_

' _ **I've never been satisfied.'"**_

He understood the feeling of never being satisfied. Of never being simply okay if something could've been better.

But to him it was a means of survival. To get out and start living for himself.

To her, in a lot of ways it was still something to keep her mind busy, if not a form of entertainment on its own. She didn't need these extra activities to live for herself. But she did them, because it gave her a high.

She would be upset if she didn't get her high. But it wouldn't kill her.

But him, it was almost as if he was one step closer to death. Anything that didn't get him ahead may mean going back to a place he despised.

Perhaps this was why she couldn't bring herself to fully commit despite being in the same wavelength.

There was also the fact that he doesn't have a spy gene. Jerry discouraged her from committing after he was able to obtain some of Alexander's DNA samples. He probably would've wanted her to end up with a fellow agent to avoid complications of keeping WOOHP a secret. To be involved with someone while still being an agent may bring danger to his life.

Danger that he does not want. Danger that he cannot afford to have.

And yet her attraction for him never went away.

In another Hellfire club open event party, the very event that she now regrets attending. Where this regret comes from? She doesn't know. Maybe it was because she turned him down a week before into officially being his girlfriend. Maybe it was seeing his eyes become a little bit hopeful that she might reconsider.

Or maybe because no matter what, her little sister by two years was a better match for him than she could ever be.

" _ **I turn and see my sister's face and she is**_

' _ **Helpless'**_

 _ **And I know she is**_

' _ **Helpless'**_

 _ **And I realized three fundamental truths at the exact same time."**_

She was in town because of her spring break. She wasn't like the other kids who were excited for all the possibly wild parties in tropical places. It had been awhile since they spent some time together. And their parents were busy taking care of their grandfather from a severe cold that may be a symptom of something serious. Not wanting her to potentially sneak off or to restrict her to the house, she will be spending her break with her sister. Unknowing of the previous dating relationship said sister had with the man who is to be her future husband.

Back in that night she didn't want to bring a male plus one. Alexander might get the wrong impression when he sent her the invitation allowing her to bring another person. He had to know that it was her choice for reasons no normal girl could give. If she wasn't still a spy, she would've said yes. He had no competition with her.

But she still loved being a spy. And because of her job, she surrendered him to her own competition.

She just wasn't expecting it to be Eliza.

She wasn't blind, she saw the blush rise on Eliza's face when she first saw him. She can't blame her, he was charismatic that way.

"Who is he?"

"Alexander Dalton"

"Do you know him? What's he like?" she remembers smirking at Eliza. It was clear she now has a new crush.

"Why don't I just get him and you find out for yourself." Cute little Eliza began shaking her head. _Please don't do it._ But it was too late. She was already walking up to him.

She's not reconsidering.

But she has no hard feelings when it comes to him.

" ' _ **Where are you taking me?'**_

' _ **I'm about to change your life.'**_

' _ **Then by all means lead the way.'"**_

After making sure he got the message that she isn't reconsidering, and making sure that he is okay and in a somewhat stable state she leads him to her sister.

She takes her arm and through the crowd she spots her sister timidly looking at a painting in a nearby wall. To her eyes, she could see the blush subside slightly. But to someone else it might not be that obvious.

Looking back, it might've been the right thing to do.

Eliza always did things with a purpose to make the world a better place to thrive in.

Alexander always did things with a purpose. To escape the impoverished, violent, unstable and dangerous life that lead to the death of his family. And if he could help it, to avoid giving others the same fate he had to endure.

"I'm Eliza." She shyly says putting her hand out for a handshake. Instead he takes her hand and brings it to his lips.

"Alexander Dalton." He then kisses her hand.

"Eliza is my younger sister, she's visiting me during her spring break."

"Is that so?" It was only then that he gently released her hand.

"I'm not exactly a party girl. I'd rather be in an art museum." She's still shy, maybe she became a little bit more when she now has Alexander's full attention.

"Well it's a good thing I work part time as the curator's assistant." He begins smirking, and she could see that he is now beginning to truly see Eliza. On Eliza's part, she could see how her younger sister is beginning to get out of her shell.

"Are you an art major?"

"Economics actually, I'm interested in art but I don't exactly have a talent to make good fine art. I mainly do the paper research work on behalf of the curator."

" ' _ **Thank you for all your service.'**_

' _ **If it takes fighting a war for us to meet it will have been worth it.'"**_

" **I'll leave you to it."** That was her last comment before she left them alone. After that night, she could see the sparkle in Eliza's eyes. Whenever he would come to her apartment, if there were any doubts about him moving on before, it was gone now.

It was awkward at first. Eliza at first felt guilty when she confessed that Alexander was dating her, but she turned him down. With a smile, she assured her that it was fine.

Eliza didn't have the spy gene. Neither did Alexander.

" _ **I know my sister like I know my own mind. You will never find anyone as trusting or as kind."**_

Eliza is someone who doesn't have a secret life as a spy. When her defenses go down, she can be witty and intellectually stimulating. Its not that she has trust issues, its that she guards her heart that way.

And Alexander functions the same way.

She could sense a disappointment from him. It wasn't easy to open up about his childhood and how his life was unstable for a long time. The only thing stable was his intellect and his own capabilities to persevere and to improve. To move forward.

This is her own way of helping him move forward.

No matter how painful, how regretful she is now.

Its better this way.

" _ **At least my dear Eliza's his wife. At least I'd keep his eyes in my life."**_

Her dear sister never looked more beautiful in her wedding dress. And he never looked more handsome.

Three years earlier he looked at her with hope and infatuation. And now there was no mistaking now who exactly held his affections and admirations. The way he looks at her sister with the same love she's seen her father gives to her mother.

And so with a smile on her face she stands up to deliver her speech as a maid of honor.

" **To the groom!"**

"To Dalton!" She hears his friend Nathan brown cry out.

" **To the bride!"**

"To Eliza!" she hears Clover and Alex cheer.

" **From your sister, who is always by your side.**

 **To your union!"**

"To Alexander and Eliza!" she hears another group of friends cheer in the background.

" **And the hope that you provide. May you always be satisfied."**

The reception was a blur after her speech. But nevertheless she finds herself watching over the couple as their limousine takes them away amidst the moonlight.

"You did the right thing." Dean says as he makes his way beside her. He doesn't need to see her face to know what she's feeling.

"Do you think they'll be okay Brit?"

" _ **And I know, she'll be happy as his bride. And I know"**_

" **He'll never be satisfied. I will never be satisfied."**

 **End notes:** In case there is any confusion

" _ **Bold and italicized are song lyrics that represent Britney's thoughts."**_

" **Bold but not italicized are song lyrics but its Britney actually saying it."**

Originally I had different names for my OCs but I lost my original file and couldn't remember what they were. I know its kind of cheating to use the names from the song but A.) I think it suits the story since I can't imagine the song with different names for those parts (but maybe that's just me) and B.) I'm in a hallucinating late night phase.

Also if you are wondering why I keep writing "Alexander" instead of just "Alex" its to differentiate my OC and Alex of the original totally spies.


End file.
